Comments on: Rate my super short story? http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/ Big Printing For Little Companies Sat, 19 May 2012 05:02:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: cathrl69 http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/comment-page-1/#comment-1662 cathrl69 Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:03:20 +0000 http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/#comment-1662 Well, it would be a whole lot better without the tired old "single tear" cliche. Well, it would be a whole lot better without the tired old "single tear" cliche.

]]> By: John M http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/comment-page-1/#comment-1661 John M Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:03:20 +0000 http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/#comment-1661 YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TALENT! :D Keep writing. Try books as you get better. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TALENT! :D Keep writing.

Try books as you get better.

]]> By: khahrosh http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/comment-page-1/#comment-1660 khahrosh Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:03:19 +0000 http://dwarfprinting.com/453/rate-my-super-short-story/#comment-1660 It's got colorful wording. I like your style. But it lacks dialogue. It should have dialogue--e.g, Paula's memories of her pleasant times with her brain-dead husband, Damon. It would spice up the story a lot, you know. But, there isn't any dialogue! Zero! Zilch! Why? (Why a duck? I understand why a chicken, why a cow, why a pig, why a dog, why a cat, I even understand why a butterfly!) I no understand, why a duck; or why no dialogue! It’s got colorful wording. I like your style. But it lacks dialogue.
It should have dialogue–e.g, Paula’s memories of her pleasant
times with her brain-dead husband, Damon. It would spice up
the story a lot, you know.
But, there isn’t any dialogue! Zero! Zilch! Why? (Why a duck?
I understand why a chicken, why a cow, why a pig, why a dog,
why a cat, I even understand why a butterfly!) I no understand,
why a duck; or why no dialogue!

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